I don't like these questions...

Why is it happening? Night is growing. Death is rising. Life is boring. What is studying?
Away in the morning a new girl is coming. Always smiling never fighting. Is she brightening?

I'd like you to trust me when things aren't easy speaking of. I hate myself when I'm around those negative spiritual conflicts. I don't know who they are, what I'm doing with tehm, am I trapped? Did I jump into the wrong train?
At first I thought it was a good thing, then now that it's been a year I'm kind of putting things on the table, and thinking about it over and over again.
Am I good, am I evil? I don't have the answer. Does anyone?
I don't like those questions, but when you're feeling like shit... I mean I'm not a bad guy, but more and more the time is passing on and I'm thinking bad so much more. I don't say I'm feeling sorry for myself, certainly not. But I don't know where I could find the truth. Should i speak to them about those thoughts? Or should i not, and wait to see if things change? If i'm going through a very bad time, maybe i should wait. I might be like this a long time, or it could end just in two minutes. When I'm thinkig about it, maybe I'm using them just to be around people who listen to me? Is it friendship? Cause I think i don't know what it's like... How could i know if they trust me, and how could i trust them?
   I don't like these questions i don't its answers.